My Steel City Heart

I really feel like a hamster. I hate loathe and detest when people mess with my things. I think a lot of it comes from just not being grounded maybe. A lack of trust in other people? Or maybe its because someone has controlled most aspects of my life for so long that when something like furniture that I consider to be home base changes I just get insanely unsettled.

That's my life at the moment. True that its only one aspect of life (well all are a big undefined I suppose) and one maybe I should care less about but, its one I carefully had set up and created a home in. One I could feel comfortable and safe in....one I could relax in and let the creative energy flow. One that should be a constant. Now its changing and for reasons I just have a really hard time understanding and ones that just don't hold up. but nonetheless things are changing. My stuff is living in in disarray and my creative space feels cold and empty. Its no longer warm and inviting.

Through all this I've found out a lot of things or had a lot of things solidified for me. So in addition to that I feel like a hamster whose cage has just gotten cleaned. Anyone who has ever had a hamster knows what I'm talking about. Everything is uprooted and I have no grounding. I'm buying bricks and I'm strapping them to my feet. To hopefully hold me to the Earth.